I’m feeling a bit nostalgic as I write this. And a bit gloomy. Down in the dumps, you might call it. I can’t pinpoint an exact reason, just feel off my normally perky self.
I’m a person who doesn’t go anywhere and not know someone. Back in the day, when I was a farm broadcaster, I talked to so many people in a given day. I was interviewing people, seeking stories, travelling, etc. And I often felt like I’d walk in a room and know more people than not.
Now, in my wine marketing job, it’s the same thing. I know lots of people. Some are the same from the radio job. But I widened my circle. I know lots of people. It’s fun to be able to walk into a room and pick up a conversation with nearly anyone.
And yet, if my world crashed around me tomorrow, I don’t know who I’d call for help. Does that make sense? I have thousands of contacts, but no true best friend.
OK, The Farmer is my best friend. That’s a given. He is my everything. He’s my rock when I get crazy. He’s my calm when my head is spinning. He’s my first thought in the morning and last at night. But after him, who would pick up the phone?
I grew up with two amazing friends that I met at church camp. One girl and I went to church together, yet different schools. The other girl and I only lived 15 minutes apart and talked on the phone constantly. They are friends to this day, but no longer the best friends that they were in my younger days.
Then there are my college friends. People I still communicate with often, but are scattered all across the country living fantastic lives.
I have work friends. These are friends from other commodity groups who are fantastic people and we get along so well when we are together. But the miles between our houses prevent weekend gatherings. I have some great friends from my work with Farm Bureau and our time on the State Young Farmer Committee. Two couples we met then are still people we hang out with now. But again, miles prevent frequent gatherings.
I have church friends. It is this group that I hang out with most often and know would be there if we were to ever need something.
I have the friends I grew up with and, by virtue of living in the same county I grew up in, they are still friends today.
I have new friends. A few ladies pop to mind, people who have kids the same age as mine and we are together alot for baseball games, camps, field trips, etc. They are friends who hopefully will become better friends. But it’s like dating. It takes time to develop those relationships.
So it leads me back to the original question. If my world were to crash around me tomorrow, who would I call? I’m lacking that one best friend that I always had when growing up. Two friends come close in my mind. But I often think I value the friendship more than they do. So I step back so not to smother them.
In the end, I wonder if I need that one best friend. Maybe I have what I’m supposed to. A bunch of really good friends.
I offer these thoughts as a question to you. Do you struggle with the same thing? Has our busy, crazy, insane lives as parents, full-time employees, farmers, volunteers, spouses, caused us to lose those valuable friendships? In an effort to stay connected via Twitter, Facebook, texting and all other forms of communication, have we actually lost what matters most?
Who would you call if your world suddenly crashed around you?
Cultivating life-long friendships takes a considerable amount of time you’re right. Big D and my mom are my very best friends and I do have a few really good friends too. Sounds like you need to have a few more girls night outs! In fact, we need to have another one for RFOA – that was so much fun! 🙂
Jeanette, we all run such busy lives. When a girlfriend called a few weeks ago after work to pick up her kids from daycare because she had a flat tire and was still far away from town. I had plans, but I changed them. That is what friends are for. And if you called me, I would do the same thing. You may have lots of friends from all of your travels, but you left a huge impact on everyone you have met. When the time comes, people will be there for you.
If your world crashed you would be surprised how many would come flocking. You would just have to put out the help cry! But still I understand your struggles. I just got off the phone with one of YF committee besties that I wish lived next door but instead is 3 hours away. Great friends, even best friends still drive all night to get to those they love. Love you!
I have a great friend from childhood. We don’t always stay as close as we would like, but I know she would be here for me in a minute if I needed her. I have great friends from the 16 years I taught at one school. Again, we do not have that daily contact anymore, but I know they would be there for me in a minute. Same with the great group I was a part of for over ten years. We all went our separate ways, married, new jobs, and most had children, but I have witnessed just this week that we all will drop and rally around the one who needs us.
I think you have those people in your life, but what is hard is missing the daily contact with these friends. They could bring you out of your dark times with a joke or a story or a shoulder to cry on or a car to jump in and find some adventure. I SOOOO miss the people who were in my life on a daily basis for the past 30-40 years, but I am learning that quality is what we now shoot for instead of quantity.
Hugs to you. Just reading the three comments above tells me you might not know who to turn to, but there are many who will turn up when you need them.
Great REAL post. We all have the same feelings, especially when we miss our circle of friends.
It seems that we have different friends for our ages and the times in our lives. Circumstances will change our friends. Jobs will require need people in our lives that might become very good friends even best friends
I think many of us struggle with the same question!